3 January 2025

Must be the worst feeling ever being in a situation where you have feelings for someone, and trying to work through the chaos.

You objectively try and focus and stop living in denial whilst trying to put the mess in an way that it could be understood, and then  while having to relive it all again and again your emotions take over, and you hurt all over again because you care so much about someone, understand what they are doing and what is happening to them. And then you live in hope again that your prayers are answered and you are wrong about the truth.

How do you hut someone you love, yet if you do nothing they have no problem hurting you in every possible way, attacking your children in the most cowardly way.....it is pure evil.

7 jkan 2024

How do you do it? Vanessa, how do you do it? How many times did we not drive that same road together? Huh? Two people that love each other And now we can drive past each other and not even look at each other and say a word to each other. All in order to walk a talk. and hide the truth or think the time will just make it go away. I'd repeat two people that love each other to that. But you are. It all boils down to walking the talk, doesn't it? You're a pathological liar. And it is. so bad that you not only believe your own lies, then. you actually want to enforce them and walk a talk because your tongue had to win people over by emotionally hijacking them. Playing them for fools and now you have to walk that talk The problem is every person has a different story and not a single person knows the truth. I miss you and I worry about you all the time. If it's the trauma bond, we'll love. I don't know But I think of you every day, every night. Last thing first thing doesn't matter.

Lucky for me, when I saw this happening, I always said it. always knew I pointed it out. but you live in this delusion. This delusion of the four essays. Eh,